plasticbagvevo:

me and my friend:

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you and your friend:

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imsoshive:

me: what’s for dinner?

her: *spreads her legs*

me: 

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so, did you not cook or ….. cause popeyes closes at 10 and i need to leave now if i’m gon make it. 

strictmom:

there are probably more lost bobby pins than there are people in this world

derpcakes:

Villains with tragic backstories:

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grumpysalmon:

Nah, that is idiocy. Weakness. Poison the chocolate. Defeat her.

codeinewarrior:

sirslyyyy:

codeinewarrior:

i feel so whack judging lame people in relationships im so bitter that nerds can be happy

So just because someone doesn’t fit your definition of “cool” they’re not allowed to be in a happy, healthy relationship? Maybe that’s why you’re single.

im single because every sexual partner ive had has died from immense physical trauma due to my gigantic wiener. so maybe take a walk in my shoes before you judge…

octobootle:

when you think your cramps are finished but then

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HOW TO COOK THE CORRECT AMOUNT OF PASTA:

sarcastic-sanity:

1. Pour out how much you think you need.

2. Wrong.

pizzaismylifepizzaisking:

ultrafacts:

Source For more facts, Follow Ultrafacts

Wait a minute…i was reading ultrafacts  &realized that THIS GUY WAS THE SAME GUY WHO DID THIS

(Source)
&

(Source)
I think he was crazy

nintenclo:

my parents’ initials are bs and ja and when they were dating they used to call each other bull shit and jack ass and i think that’s beautiful

Unborn 8.0 Black Pointer
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